“I do it.” My daughter, Kyara, was a toddler, and she had discovered her independence. She wanted to do everything by herself. Get dressed, climb in and out of the car, seat herself at the table, feed herself. All of it. I let her try, of course, even though I knew I could do it for her quicker and easier. Sometimes, the task she attempted was just too much for her. I’d gently offer my help in the least obtrusive way.
“Here, honey, push my hands this way so the car seat will buckle.”
Twenty-five years ago, I was that same, determined toddler. We were hiking together as a family. My dad carried my three-month-old sister, Juli, on his back in a backpack. My older sister, Cari, took my mother’s hand. But me?
“I do it.”
We hiked three miles that day. There was a set of stairs on the trail. I’d take a step with one foot, place my hand on my chubby little knee for leverage, and push my other foot up to join it. I’m sure it was painstaking.
“Would you like me to carry you?” my father asked.
“No. I do it.”
And I did. I hiked the entire way, all by myself.
Fast forward almost 50 years. After my makeover, I was faced with a daunting task — Dressing (and living!) My Truth as a Type 3 woman. I plunged into it, head first, blindly, with no real plan.
“I do it.”
But I faltered. I didn’t quite know how.
Then, the windows of heaven opened, and God lent me a hand. Friends reached out to me with love and support. They sent me beautiful, inspiring necklaces, earrings, scarves, and skirts, as well as gift certificates to help me find my own style.
My favorite gift was a small, black swan sculpted from wood.
“Remember us, your Type 4 sisters,” my anonymous angel said. I will. I’ll never forget.
Sometimes, I think we take Adam’s curse too seriously. We think we must earn everything by the sweat of our brow. We forget that the Earth is God’s, and everything in it is His to give.
“Ask, and it shall be given you…If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:7)
In her book, The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron says, “Remember, you are the cheapskate, not God. As you expect God to be generous, God will be able to be more generous with you.”
It’s true. I know that because I am the lilies of the field, I am the fowls of the air, I am the sparrow that doesn’t fall unnoticed. I am blessed, and there isn’t room enough for me to receive it. My heart overfills, and I am left in tears.