My blog is about finding beauty in the ugly. Some might think that there can be nothing beautiful about an illness that robs you of 90% of life’s activities. I have to admit, I felt the ugly hard. It took a long time for the beauty to filter in — but it did.
I discovered a life wiped clean of expectations, a blank slate waiting for me to fill it the way I wanted. I noticed little things, tiny moments of joy and beauty. I became aware of my surroundings in new ways. I held the people closest to me closer because they were all that I had left.
Ah, but then my husband received a job offer that would take our family to Utah. In preparation, I did a little research and discovered a clinic that specialized in my illness. It intrigued me. The job fell through, and that was that, or so we thought. However, knowing that clinic was out there, right there…
After much counsel and prayer together as a family, we decided to make the move anyway.
So, I found myself sitting in the doctor’s office last Tuesday, listening to him describe my disease with complete understanding. He told me, “We can treat the symptoms while we work on the underlying causes.” He wrote several prescriptions and ordered even more tests.
The following morning I reclined in a chair while the phlebotomist took 35 vials of blood. Thirty-five vials of discovery. Thirty-five vials of hope.
I’m starting a new journey. It’s terrifying. It’s exhilarating. It won’t be easy, and I know it will require great courage. But I am so, so ready.